Seeing a simple social media status celebrating a small success in years of struggle reminded me. Hearing truth boldly spoken in a courtroom reminded me. Witnessing the exhibition of strength throughout heartbreaking betrayal reminded me.
I, too, have been saved from the most destructive enemy in my life, Myself. One simple utterance each morning more than 25 years ago has become my daily portion of saving grace. No matter what I’m struggling with, the truth is, “God, I want You more.”
As a teen I discovered the power found in not eating; by losing a few pounds, I could turn eyes. Unfortunately, I really like to eat and that “weakness” led me to discover the power of purging. Tired of being consumed with calories and pounds, I reached a point where all I could do was tell God, “I want to be thin; but God, I want You more.”
That prayer was the beginning of freedom. That was the day I gave God permission to save me from myself and my know it all ways that seem to lead straight to destruction every single time.
My whole life has been a search for acceptance. I’ve craved love and admiration from others. I now know I’ve craved it from myself. The key to that healthy self respect is found in God’s Word. “We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.” 1 John 4:19, The Message
Did you catch that? To love—love and be loved. That got me thinking about the definition of love. When I looked it up, one definition was this: an assurance of affection. And that is what my young heart longed for, even more than God.
And one summer night at youth camp, when a not yet 20 year old me, finally let my heart feel the fullness of His affection toward me, it grew me brave. With a broken heart and tear stained eyes, I promised Him, “But God, I want You more.”
When I seemed to be the only single lady left, “I want to be a wife; but God I want You more,” was the place I found contentment in singleness. When my belly was empty and my friends’ arms were full I found peace in, “I want to be a mother; but God I want You more.”
When cancer threatened my health, my very life, I cried through tears, “But God, I want You more.”
I’ve prayed that simple prayer anytime my desire threatened to come between me and the God I love most. I’ve cried that tear when disappointment has left me desperate. I’ve even prayed, “But God I want to want You more,” when my desires ache strong or His way looks hard and because He is faithful, He changes my heart every single time.
Wanting Him more makes me brave.
And sister, wanting Him more will make you brave too. So no matter what your heart’s deepest cry is today, it pales in comparison to Him. Be brave. Tell Him, “But God, I want You more.”
And watch Him give you the very desire of your heart.
On Wednesday, Lisa has a timely post for us about missions right here at home. How is the area around you like a mission field? How is it similar and different from leaving for a far away mission trip? After reading, you will sure to be inspired to find a way to be missional, perhaps even in your own neighborhood.
On Friday, Tracy shares the story of her little boy’s death and how she managed to come out of her grief and even learn to dance with joy again. There really is a season for everything. Come and taste the hope…
We are scheduling SDG Connections posts for January 2016! Please pray about and considering sharing your story with us! Click here for details.
2016 4th SDG Retreat
2016 SDG Retreat Information & Registration is LIVE! Click here for more details. Only 2 MORE WEEKS left of early bird pricing!
SDG Gathering is on a break (but we’ll still be writing)!
Can you believe that we’ve been linking up for 243 weeks between this space and Finding Heaven? That’s 4.67 years. CRAZINESS! It’s been a joy, y’all. So many friendships and connections. So much encouragement and truth offered over the years. God has been faithful to this community.
However, since Lisa and I have added SDG Retreat planning and I’m also running the fundraiser, something needs to fall off the plate. Though we love you and love visiting you, we are going to suspend the link-up until after the SDG Retreat.
We will still be writing on Mondays and hosting #SDGConnections on Wednesdays and Fridays, so please come and talk with us in the comments. We will continue to respond there (we really want to continue to be a community and it is so helpful when you respond to us after our posts – we love to hear your voices!), send out weekly prayer requests, and converse on Facebook.