I never thought it would happen, but I have finally gotten used to it. Sort of.
I check the clock, certain that at least six hours have passed. But it has only been three minutes. Sigh.
I make plans, but I always write in pencil. Sigh again.
My heart no longer jumps into my throat every time the phone rings. Sigh. (Do you see a pattern here?)
Yes. I am Jesus lover AND an army wife. And just because I say I have gotten USED to this call, it doesn’t mean it is easy.
Don’t get me wrong. I love it…most days. But rocking this army wife life provides more challenges, more new experiences and more Jesus-if-you-stretch-me-any-farther-I-am-totally-going-to-break-and-or-eat-all-the-chocolate-within-a-five-mile-radius moments than I ever anticipated.
And we recently had one of those “moments” in our little infantry family.
A few years ago, my beloved husband Brandon decided to go to Ranger School. This particular army school is no ordinary experience. It is incredibly intense, with no guarantee that a soldier will successfully complete it or if he does actually complete it, no for-sure bets on when that blissful graduation day might come. Best case scenario, it is a 64 day experience with nearly zero communication with the “outside world” (see also: the wife back home), minimal food and even less sleep.
So, three years ago, hubs is all, “Ranger school, yeah, America!” and I am all “I love you, OK, good luck I think?”
It was kind of a train wreck. Long story short: Hubs decided to attain his Ranger Tab not for Jesus but for peer pressure/pride (his words, not mine.) I realized about 2.5 seconds after he left that I had moved my husband into God’s place.
This strong, independent gal was having an idolatrous relationship with her husband, worry and control.
It was totally gross.
My beloved was only gone for a few weeks, but it was by far the hardest weeks of my life. See, when he left, I was pregnant with our first child. My biggest fear? Miscarriage.
And that is just what happened. I laid there, completely alone, staring through teary eyes at the ceiling of the emergency room, cursing the army, Ranger School and the whole experience. Why am I alone? What I am going to do? Did I do something wrong? Is this my fault? How or when will I tell my husband?!
Three days later, my husband called to say that he would not be moving onto the next phase but instead would be recycling and on hold for an additional 7 weeks due to ranger school scheduling. I blurted out that I had lost the baby. He immediately dropped out of ranger school and came home so we could grieve.
It was the most painful experience we have thus far shared in our marriage. But it was also the most necessary.
Because God used it for good.
Since that time, my husband and I have both redirected our priorities and realigned Christ on His rightful, primary place in our hearts. We grieved. We healed. We learned. We grew.
Then God said, “Let’s go.”
A few months ago, He called us to attempt Ranger School once again. We prayed. We wrestled. And we prayed some more.
God said go. We said yes. We were at peace. (Not excited, but definitely at peace.)
This ranger school experience was completely different.
Our 2-year-old daughter and I prayerfully held down the fort over 4,000 miles away in Washington state while my husband prayed in the bushes, mountains and swamps of the south.
Philippians 4:19 reverberated in my heart on a daily basis: “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”
And He did. Brandon felt God’s presence in every single phase. I found more joy and peace in our time apart than ever before in my life. I needed energy. God provided. Brandon needed strength. God provided.
Brandon went straight through Ranger School completely injury free with no recycling. I found an enriched and deepened faith that I never imagined.
Brandon was out in the wilderness literally sharing the gospel with his new battle buddies. And I was marching forward leaning on Jesus to complete my mission on the home front.
Where have you witnessed God meet your needs (big or small) in ways that grew your faith? We always love to hear from you. Leave a comment below.
Sweet sisters, remember that we don’t have to wear the uniform to serve in the army. All of us, married to the military or otherwise, have the opportunity serve in the Lord’s army.
And trust me. He is the one Commander whose Battle Plan will never, ever fail.
Sharita Knobloch describes herself as a Jesus-loving, enthusiastically creative minister, writer, and Blackaby Spiritual Leadership Coach. She loves encouraging others to find Jesus in the everyday at 7 Days Time Ministry. She adores her family, specifically her Beloved U.S. Army Infantry husband Brandon, their sweet daughter Charis, and goofy little dog Justus. Sharita enjoys exploring her current “home” state of Washington, working on her love-hate relationship with running, breaking in new journals with inky pens, and the occasional square of dark chocolate in the bathtub. Connect with Sharita on her Website, Facebook or Twitter.