I have been so blessed by this great community as I’ve shared about how depression, deep and evil, nearly stole my life. I’ve been asked many times how I dealt with the depression once I realized I had to make better choices. I’ve mentored other sufferers in these very ways. I see the plan God had for me on the other side of it all… to love others and to show them God in the lingering-life moments, those moments that seem to overwhelm.
I give a very simple answer with practical ways to live it out, and that is…
Not trust in my self – reasoning, intelligence, self-help methods, control, or any other hinderance.
Not trust in doctors – while visiting doctors for support and still taking medicine until I was healed completely was absolutely necessary (although if I knew then what I know now I would have sought natural medicines to help for long term safety and less side effects).
Not trust in others – hoping they would pull me out of the horror I lived in.
But God. Complete trust in God. Even when I feared, even when I entertained doubt, even when I felt unreachable, even… feelings will usually get us in trouble. So I decided to always trust in the God I chose to have faith in during all of this.
When I felt depression closing in, I learned to make my thoughts focus on Jesus. I’d imagine myself laying it all down at the Cross.
If a hard, relentless attack came at me, I’d imagine myself laying on the lap of the Father. He holds me close. He holds you close. I needed comfort.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ~ 2 Cor 1:3-4
When I was paying attention to my feelings instead of God’s view of me, I would remember the promises in His Word. I chose to focus and trust.
Every moment I chose trust God knew every thing about me and wanted me to be free of it. I made a conscious decision to think of God every time I was tempted to make a bad choice.
When I asked Him to heal me… I waited years. And I chose in every moment to trust that He wanted me healed. Even in the midst of fear and failure, I called on Him. I waited.
For HE was working something in me that needed cultivating.
When I asked Him to take away the pain… I waited years. And I chose to trust that He wanted me to feel peace instead of pain. Even in the midst of thinking everyone around me had abandoned me, I called on Him. I waited.
For HE was renewing my mind in every sense.
Remember how I described, in the first two parts of this 4 part series, if a person calls the demons they will answer? They come in the form of pain, suffering, self-hatred, fear, and loathing. But God… He always comes when we call, and the enemy must flee.
So even if there is no other prayer or words you can pull together in each moment where you are tempted to choose to entertain those things, call His name. Call on Jesus. All you need to do is call on Him. Whether in the anguish of desperation, crying out as loud as I could while drowning in tears or on days where I felt better and able to at least cope…
I called “Jesus”.
Make no mistake…
Call the name of Jesus and He will come.
I look forward to joining you again the final part to this series in which I tell about the moment of my miraculous healing. I will never forget it. But until then…
what did I do until that very moment 17 years ago… while I waited?
I look forward to meeting you in this space again soon for part 4 in which I tell all about my miraculous healing. I rejoice over it and will rejoice with you over yours. But until that moment that you meet your healing…
Heather, self-appointed “Ellipses Queen”, is a ‘Super Race-Runner’ after Jesus’ own heart. She loves to live #ALLIN for Him as a loved wife, proud mom, encourager to many, deep soul lover, big time laugher, voice-over wannabe, and freelance writer. She is currently writing two books – an autobiographical devotional and a Q&A book, with a panel of nearly 50 people from around the globe, about how God and faith factor into our lives. Heather writes at 40YearWanderer where she welcomes you to share soul-deep. She has wandered through a life full of some incredible things… all of which God has laid on her heart to share. ALL IN, a ministry for the worldwide Church, sprang to life after God gave her pieces of the vision for over a decade… then heard Him say “Now” in 2014. She can also be found sharing whimsical funnies on Facebook.