The year was 1959. My mother was a single, 22 years old girl, who already had a 22 month old boy when she had me. Her first husband had taken off on and she had wanted to marry my father, who was both father to my brother and me. She was waiting for her divorce to come through.
My birth father did not have steady work. It was decided by both my parents to give me up, but to keep my brother. My mother’s father and mother agreed to take me, but at the last minute my grandfather changed his mind.
My mothers nerves were not good at the time so it was left up to my father to find me a home. This was just after I was born. My mother named me Linda Marie.
My father came to visit his older brother Clifford and his wife Hazel and my mom tells me that my father was in tears when he asked if they would consider adopting me.
After the weekend, my father called Clifford regarding his decision. Clifford and his wife had decided to adopt me.
A week later after my birth, my mother brought me to live with Clifford and his wife. I know my aunt and uncle as mom and dad and my cousin as my sister Marilyn, who was 5 1/2 years old at the time. My sister was at school when I arrived at my new home. Marilyn and grandmother named me Margaret Diane.
The first time I remember hearing about being adopted was when I was 3 years old. It was said that my parents could not look after me and my parents asked if Clifford would take me. Mom would tell me how glad she was to have me. The statement that my biological parents couldn’t look after me brought a lot of questions to mind, but when I asked who my parents, were my mom’s response was it wasn’t for me to know who. “It’s our secret,” she said.
I was curious about the secret and I wanted to ask more questions, but knew I would be silenced by my parents.
Life carried on for me with mom and dad and my older sister, Marilyn. We attended church as a family and took vacations together. Growing up I swam at the pool. I went ice skating and sledding. I played outdoors with the children on our street, playing games. I had a happy and good home life.
I attended school, but school was not a good experience.
I preferred recess and lunch hour to school work. I would become anxious and cry about new situations if I wasn’t helped right away. The children at school teased me because I cried a lot.
This anxiety had first come about when my mom and dad had taken my sister to the fair out of town without me when I was 3 1/2 years old. I became withdrawn and shy. I became tense around another aunt who was caring for me. It carried into school and social situations.
When I was 7, I accepted Jesus into my life. This means that I admitted I was a sinner, that I believe Jesus is the Son of God, and that I confessed Jesus as Lord. It happened at camp at my bedside when I prayed with my counselor. I simply asked Jesus to come and live in me and to please take away my sin. In that moment, I became a child of God
When I was in high school, I shared my secret that I was adopted with two people. The first time I shared with a grown up that I was adopted and they suggested that I looked a lot like my cousin who was at the park with me. I shared with my girlfriend about being adopted – that I felt as though didn’t belong – and my girlfriend tried to reassure me I did.
I still was bothered by the secret of my adoption into my adult years.
My dad passed away when I was 28. Losing dad was earth-shattering. Mom comforted me and we became close.
During this time I met Maurice and this helped me over losing my dad. He became a special person to me and still is. We dated for 2 years. We were engaged at Christmas.
A month before Christmas the next year, Mom and I were in middle of wedding plans and we had gone to retrieve my savings bond at the bank from her safety security box to help pay for our wedding.
While I was at the bank I pulled out 2 envelopes. One was my savings bond and one was my adoption papers. I opened the adoption papers and I learned my name was Linda Marie. I asked who Linda was and mom explained to me that it was what my mother named me. Before I could ask further questions mom blurted out that she wasn’t free to give me any more information. I was 30 years old!
Two years later after searching for my birth mother, I was sent information on my adoption. The news was my adoption was private. I was angry because I wasn’t getting any answers.
With lots of apprehension and fear I prayed and approached my mom once more about my adoption on our wedding anniversary while we were at my mother’s house.
Mom was tight lipped and nervous when I asked again, but I was not about to be shut down again. When Mom mentioned she had given my information of my parents to my sister, I exploded in a furry of loud words of how unfair this was. To my amazement Mom then revealed my truth. My birth parents were my aunt and uncle.
I was in shock and stunned at this information. My aunt had 2 children – one before me and one after me who is 10 years younger than me. My mother and father were married a year after I was born.
I was glad for the information, but after this news, I suffered intensely from depression and anxiety and anger, which I have had most of my life.
I contacted my Aunt and she wrote me back and mentioned that my brother knew about me, but my sister was not to know. She gave me information about my birth.
After a trauma of a fire at out townhouse on Christmas day, my life foundation began to come apart at the seams. Our finances were a mess. I was hurting inside over my adoption. I lashed out at my husband, Maurice, verbally and physically. I had struggled with suicidal thoughts and blue feelings most of my life. They were now more intense than ever.
Maurice wasn’t good as managing our finances and we had a financial crisis. I had thought finances was a man’s job. I had nervous breakdown.
During this time I came realize I was angry and hurting over my adoption.
I began to work on my issues.
I now realize after some study that I hadn’t grieved over my separation from my birth mother . The term is for this is called the primal wound which means grief over loss of birth mother.
I learned I had to say goodbye to this loss of my birth mother.
After saying goodbye to this relationship, my anger has dissipated. I have let go of my anger towards my mother and Mom for keeping the secret and allowing the entire extended family know except for me.
I own my truth that I am adopted and I get freedom and pleasure in sharing my story. My aunt threatened me with legal action if I told my cousin-sister about me. I was able to break free of this control method after 10 years and I shared the truth with my sister and freedom has come about. The truth is out!
Ye shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.
My mom died 2 days before Mothers day with me by her side 9 years ago.
My biological mother is alive but we do not have much contact with each other.
My book came out 5 years ago about being adopted with a book on my life. The truth has set me free.
My name is Margaret Theriault. I live in Kitchener Ontario Canada with my husband and we just celebrated 25 years of marriage. I am a retired Nanny. We have a chichuah dog named Pedro who is 7. I have one niece. My husband and I have 5 nieces, 3 nephews and 2 great nieces and 2 great nephews and one on the way.I put together all occasions baskets as a hobby. I enjoy biking,writing,baking,singing, aqua cycle aqua-fit. I self-published my memoirs and I am writing my second book.