“You are an Amazing Woman”
That’s what my coffee cup tells me every morning whether I feel like it or not. I read through Facebook and hit all the major blogs that I follow and sometimes one will hit the spot, but more than likely it’s a quick hit, just enough to make me feel better.
Doing that reminds me of the quick thundershowers we get in Georgia in the summertime. This year most of our backyard’s sod died due to winterkill. In other words, it got so cold in Georgia that it killed our grass and replacing Bermuda grass isn’t cheap. So what are we doing? We’re aerating it and giving the soil some oxygen and some good fertilizer with a ton of water. Sometimes our spiritual lives are the same way. We keep to the same routines and lose the room for growth by just letting everything settle in and pile up on top of everything. I love the pretty pictures on Facebook that a lot of the big name Christian women’s blog put out almost daily, but after a while they blend together and don’t have the same impact as they first did.
Lately I’ve felt burned out at church and have stopped volunteering for a bit as our 8-year-old son, Chris, has been participating in Summer All Stars 8U baseball tournaments. It’s VBS this week and we’re at home and resting. It’s been wonderful to get out of the church and be reminded of why we are the salt of the earth. I realize I’ve been hiding out at the church, but we’ve also been hiding from those in our community. We are a family of introverts and honestly don’t have many friends. The last time we had guests at our house was for the Super Bowl – six months ago.
I have lots of friends that I talk to online, but in person – not so many. I’ve “aged-out” of our young mom’s Bible study and don’t feel like that’s the place for me, but when you have been married for 14 years and have an only child that makes you a little different –add in major health issues and you are a unicorn. I’m pursuing my MA in Professional Counseling at Liberty University and that’s isolated me too because of all the time it takes for me to get the coursework done, but I know it’s where God wants me.
The one thing that I’ve realized lately is that we are the body of Christ and God knows sometimes that the “pieces” need to rest and let others work for a little while. It’s okay to be an interchangeable part especially if you are taking time to rest or learn a new skill or soak in the spiritual disciplines. So this week I disabled all the blog emails, all the email devotionals, and put away the stack of devotionals on my desk and pulled out my print Bible again. It’s easy to get distracted with the one on my phone. I’ve also bought two new journals – one with lines and one without. One is to keep prayer requests for SDG and the other is to capture moments of life and ideas – all the stuff that clutters the brain that we forget about like the sock behind sofa.
I’m not a blogger (but I do have a domain name – WanderingPlaces.com that I have no idea what to do with right now except pay renewal fees). So what do I do right now while I sit through these HOT baseball games watching our boys struggle? I encourage the moms around me to give me their prayer requests. Sometimes when you don’t know where to fit in at church it’s time to go back to the basics – the Word and prayer. I’m still struggling with reading my Bible because it feels dry to me after being in some theology and psychology classes, but I feel like that’s some warfare on me too. I’m here, as a real mom and wife, and grad student, but mostly as a lonely Christian sister who needs this right now as I navigate this desert. I’ll tell you something though – the desert rainstorms bring some beautiful flowers.
I’m Tracey Layman, a mom of one and I’ve been married to Randy since May of 2000. If I’ve learned anything life is never a straight line of predictability but is instead a huge mess of “wibbly, wobbly, timey, wimey” and yes, I’m a huge fan of Doctor Who. I’m working on my Masters in Professional Counseling online at Liberty University (May 2015) while living life in Marietta, Georgia. Life’s a journey; not a perfect picture. You can connect with me at [email protected]